i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
