I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
