That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
