wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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