I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
