Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
His hands were made for my vagina.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
