I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
try to milk me bitch
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