He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
