We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
