note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
