i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
