k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
