I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
