I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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