I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
