she smelled like a LAN party
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
