I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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