So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
