so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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