You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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