you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
