Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
