Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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