you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
