very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
