Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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