hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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