One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Randomize
