did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
