Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
