whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
