uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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