i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
