so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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