I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
