NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can I color on your dick again?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
