your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
