is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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