i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's shark week go big or go home
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
