loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
