this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
