I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
