You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
