I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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