I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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