I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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