i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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