i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
