dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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