Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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